A Poem in C Minor

“Play a song in C minor.”
The black piano jeers.
“I’ll bet you can’t do it.”
I feel close to tears.

Instead I sit silent,
And stare at my fingers.
While the piano waits,
It’s mocking still lingers.

I reach out a hand,
But stop short of the note.
I can’t play three flats;
With only one I’m a joke.

So I sit still silent,
And try not to cry.
To keep back warm tears,
That leap to my eyes.

I contemplate my life,
A stupid thing to ponder,
When I meant to play piano,
But I let my thoughts wander.

I’ve never understood,
Why life is so tough.
Like playing in C minor,
Melancholy, rough.

I think about my friends,
Then wonder if they’re real.
I’ve never felt quite like,
I think having friends should feel.

I’m so damn insecure,
I’m an introvert, I’m me.
And I’m stuck inside my head,
Only the piano for company.

The one time I had friends,
Who were real, solid, there.
Was when I couldn’t keep them,
Was when I really cared.

The personified piano,
Can see my very thoughts.
“They’ll leave you like the others.
“How can you think they’ll not?”

I refuse to answer,
But I know it’s right.
Already they’re drifting away,
No longer in my sight.

At first we all just clicked,
It seemed we were friends on the spot,
And now we are scattered,
And I miss them all a lot.

Perhaps in the future,
I’ll see them again.
But it seems unlikely,
I lament the loss of my friends.

And then again inside my thoughts,
The piano barges in,
“You’ve brought it on yourself.
“You’ve failed life again.”

I ask it what it means,
And rub my tired eyes.
“You’re imperfect and flawed.
“Your ‘friends’ were just being nice.”

“You’ll never understand.
“The finer points of interaction,
“You’ve failed again, my dear.”
Then it waits for my reaction.

I close my eyes and sigh,
I try to ignore its taunts,
But they’re the unfortunate truth,
No matter what I want.

I’m just an outcast,
I’m ostracized, I’m me.
I’m the one who doesn’t get it,
The one no one wants to be.

“You finally realize,
“That you’ll always lose.
“That you’ll never succeed,
“That you have no choice to choose.”

“You’ll always be alone,
“Well, not alone; you still have me.
“I’ll be in your head forever,
“I’ll show you all your faults, you see.”

I shake my aching head,
And try to close my ears,
Insecurity and imperfection,
Are my two greatest fears.

I sit a little longer,
And then purely out of spite,
I play a minor C chord,
My touch uncertain and light.

I play a little louder,
And a melody appears.
It’s a little shaky,
But soon enough it clears.

I play with my emotions,
Automatically my fingers move,
Though not included in the process,
My insulted mind approves.

And then I make a mistake,
And then again and then again.
The song in C minor,
Has died in the end.

I’ve failed myself again,
And proven it right.
The gloating piano,
I want it out of my sight.

But I’ve found I cannot move,
I just stare at my reflection,
In the piano’s shiny black surface;
Imperfection in perfection.